We’re not quite sure what it is but the air in 2021 is slightly different. It’s a mix of new beginnings with a pinch of self-renewal and a hint of re-evaluation— and speaking of re-evaluation, what better time to reflect on your relationships than at the start of a brand new year?

The standards and dynamics of relationships have come a long way past Virgil’s “Love conquers all”. We’ve experienced several paradigm shifts including love languages, gender roles and embracing feeling whole while still being someone’s other half. In a year where we are breathing life into our passion projects, seeking financial stability and building wholesome relationships that contribute to our overall growth — are you currently in a relationship with the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?

Love is easy. It’s a force with no equation, that exists with the absence of deductive reasoning or further explanation. Planning your future with someone? Now that’s where things get a tad bit difficult. Lucky for us we’re in the era of “celebrating your truth” and the truth is my dear is if in 2021 you and your partner are not on the same page then possibly it’s time to retire the book, invest in Netflix and enjoy the benefits of having something that’s new, not afraid to evolve and very clear on what they can offer you. There’s a lot of power in honesty, especially when it’s working in tandem with emotional intelligence and self-actualization. The moment we let go of the traditional picture perfect love story then we can step into a space that allows us to really pinpoint what exactly is going on.

Now, does this mean we are searching for problems that don’t exist? Are we constantly pressured to fix something that isn’t necessarily broken— even a crack in the most gorgeous figurine can completely be shattered from just one big accident or several small ones, like with all things only time will tell but if we don’t examine the crack…what does that say about how much we care about this precious item?

Yes we’re indeed happy but is this only on the surface? Before you become a victim of an epiphany you get 10 years down the line after sharing your life with someone for over a decade, take the time to have the not so fun conversations with your partner involving not only yours but their expectations of this relationship and if it’s going to remain a love boat or level up to a fully functional, all inclusive cruise. Propel yourselves into forming a deeper connection or prepare for a heart-wrenching split due to the words that went unsaid and the burning differences that weighed on your relationship. Your choice, no pressure. 

And to my single players in the game, read the room. It is definitely not the year for mind games and inconsistency. We are no longer entertaining the idea of a relationship that lacks substance or depth. While I don’t recommend sharing how many children you’d like on a first date, I do suggest you be intentional with the foundation you’ll be set to find “the one” and cognizant of who you choose to share your energy with. 2021 is all about being direct and being present in all aspects of your life. There’s beauty in being realistic…go where the truth resides.